Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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