You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
