Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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