apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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