her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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