"it" just moved
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She needs sedatives and a leash
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
