I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
