Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
