you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
