Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
