so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
