its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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