Your tits are I can't wait for
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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