um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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