I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm passing your future prison.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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