I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
