Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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