Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
