Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
