he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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