Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I look better un-naked...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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