yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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