remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
