Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
