so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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