You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
