NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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