a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
