I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
