Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
