i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
