the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
