exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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