you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
