My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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