first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
