Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
