I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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