I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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