I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
