It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
