what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
