ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
