first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i already hear my dad disowning me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
