i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
