Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
