Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
