Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
