My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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