i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
