capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
